Définitions de termes financiers

En ces temps de crise voici quelques définitions pour les néophytes.

• CEO –Chief Embezzlement Officer.
• CFO– Corporate Fraud Officer.
• BULL MARKET — A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
• BEAR MARKET — A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
• VALUE INVESTING — The art of buying low and selling lower.
• P/E RATIO — The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
• BROKER — What my broker has made me.
• STANDARD & POOR – Your life in a nutshell.
• STOCK ANALYST — Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
• STOCK SPLIT — When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
• FINANCIAL PLANNER — A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
• MARKET CORRECTION — The day after you buy stocks.
• CASH FLOW — The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
• YAHOO — What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
• WINDOWS — What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
• INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR — Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.
• PROFIT — An archaic word no longer in use.

Via le blog de Francesc

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